Clothes Shop Horror
by Mopox
Summary: Don't be scared children, its just a fanfic! They can't hurt you!


"HURRY UP VEGETA! I want to buy these clothes while I'm still young!" Bulma shrieked down the aisle.  
  
"Who said you were young?" muttered Vegeta, as he dragged on behind Bulma, carrying her pink sparkly purse.  
  
"What did you say?" said Bulma, eyeing Vegeta suspiciously. A bead of sweat appeared on Vegeta's forehead.  
  
"Err,...N-nothing dear, w-what made you think that?" stammered Vegeta, cowering under Bulma, realising that Bulma was taller than him.  
  
"I heard exactly what you said! Go stand over there and wait there until I come back!" roared Bulma, and she stalked off.  
  
"But, but, honey!" cried Vegeta, as he held up the pink purse hopelessly. But it was too late, Bulma had gone with a trail of black smoke behind her.  
  
Vegeta sighed and walked over to a near by fan. Vegeta held his head up and took in the cool air, he'd never realised how hot it could be in a clothes shop before. Vegeta glanced over to a crowd of women fighting over a dress.  
  
'I don't think I'm man enough for this sport, even Saiyans have their limits!' thought Vegeta, as he slowly turned back to the fan.  
  
Suddenly, he was knocked aside by a tall, black-haired man.  
  
"You watch where you're going! You idiot!" shouted Vegeta, he then stopped and was surprised to see Goku and Gohan standing there. "Kakarott! What are you doing here/!" asked Vegeta, as he tried to hide the purse.  
  
"Chi-chi sent us over here, said we were too much of a dastrocian!" said Goku.  
  
"Distraction Dad, D-I-S-T-R-A-C-T-I-O-N!" Gohan said slowly.  
  
"I knew that! It doesn't take a rocket scientist to pronounce dastrocian!" Goku replied knowingly.  
  
Gohan sighed and shook his head.  
  
'Is this REALLY the man you beat Frieza?' thought Vegeta as he stared at Goku, who was smiling stupidly at him. But Vegeta was unaware that the purse had slipped out of his grasp. He quickly picked it up and tried to hide it, but Goku and Gohan had already seen it.  
  
"Hey! I like the new look Vegeta! Theres a dress over there that would match perfectly with that purse!" said Goku, trying to hide his  laughter.  
  
"Hey, you wouldn't look half bad in that Vegeta!" said Gohan.  
  
Both Father and son went into hysterics. Vegeta stood there and went a light shade of red. But over the laughter, Chi-chi called out-  
  
"Oh Goku! Could you hold my purse?"  
  
Vegeta burst out laughing along with Gohan who was rolling on the floor. Goku sighed and dragged his feet as he collected the purse. "Oh Gohan! You don't miss out either! You can hold my handbag!" shouted Chi-chi, who was smirking. Vegeta laughed even harder and Goku clutched onto a rack of jumpers to stop him from falling over.  
  
Gohan returned, a deep shade of red and held his head low as he twisted the handbag in his small, chubby hands. Suddenly, Gohan got knocked off his feet and saw the shine off a bald head as he looked up.  
  
"Krillen! Are you here with Maron?" asked Gohan, as he stood up and hid the handbag, at this, Goku and Vegeta did the same.  
  
"Huh?........Yeah? Maron,......thats who I'm with........I'm certainly not here by myself buying frilly underwear for my own amusement! Ha! Ha! Ha!" Krillen said, laughing far too hysterically.  
  
As Krillen looked up, he was met by very confused and surprised looks. "Oh look! Thers Yamcha!" shouted Krillen.  
  
"Thats not Yamcha, thats a short bald man picking his nose!" said Gohan, staring at Krillen in bewilderment. The sweat trickled down Krillen's neck.  
  
"No, THATS Yamcha." Said Goku, taking the attention a way from Krillen.  
  
"But hes wearing a dress!" proclaimed Krillen, wiping the sweat off his forehead. All of the Z Team stared at eachother for a few seconds and then went into fits of laughter.  
  
"Hey, HEY! YAMCHA! Whats with the dress? You look better as a man!" said Goku, tears streaming down his face.  
  
"A man?" said the figure, its teeth clenched. The figure turned around and to Goku's shock and horror, it was his own wife, Chi-chi.  
  
"What did you say Goku?" said Chi-chi, the temple in her forehead getting bigger at the second.  
  
"Err, hon-honey, what a........surprise! You look,......beautiful!" Goku stammered, the sweat pouring off him like heavy rain. Chi-chi's face softened.  
  
"Really?"  
  
Goku gulped and as his adam's apple quivered, he replied- "R-really,..you look great!"  
  
"Come here big guy! I've got a surprise for you!" whispered Chi-chi. Chi- chi lead Goku (who was smirking broadly) around a mirror. A sudden slap that shhok the shop came from behind it. A few seconds later, Goku appeared clutching his cheek, where the mark of a hand was visible.  
  
"R-I-G-H-T!" Vegeta said slowly. Vegeta looked around the shop and noticed that the fan he was standing near had disappeared. "Oh no! OH NOOOOOOOO!" Veget yelled, as he fell on his knees and looked up to the ceiling as the word 'no' echoed around the shop.  
  
"Whats up Vegeta?" asked Goku, as he rubbed his chhek, which had swollen to the size of a balloon.  
  
"Men, I'm afraid,....we're.....lost!"  
  
                                   (DUM, DUMMMMMMM, DUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!)  
  
"So?" said Gohan, looking around to see where the music had come from.  
  
"You fool! Don't you knowwhat his means?" asked Vegeta, his eyes turning bloodshot faster than a cheetah.  
  
All three of them shook their heads. Vegeta sighed and rolled his eyes.  
  
"It .." whispered Vegeta, coming in closer and putting his arms around them "....that we're going to have to find our own way out!"  
  
"So?" repeated Gohan, looking throughly bored.  
  
"SO?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN SO?!" spluttered Vegeta. "You have no idea whats out there kid! There are these things called bras, I've heard women complain about them all the time! They're strong! Even stronger then Frieza and the Androids put together!" Vegeta's eyes darted around the shop, his teeth clenched, and the sweat pouring off him. "Oh no! I'm freaking out!" he screamed, and then fell onto the floor, his face twitching.  
  
The Z Team stared down at Vegeta in bewilderment, who was now muttering to himself. Goku poked Vegeta in the arm, "Errr, Vegeta?"  
  
"No Mummy! I don't want to go to school1 The teacher always picks on me, and makes me stand in front of the whole class, and then I wet myself!" After this, Vegeta turned over.  
  
After a few moments of stunned silence, the Z Team burst into fits of laughter. Suddenly, Vegeta sat up bolt right and stared at the Z Team, who had now stopped laughing and were looking around nervously.  
  
"What were you all laughing at?" asked Vegeta, suspiciously looking from Goku to Gohan To Krillen and back again. Goku couldn't hold it in any longer.  
  
"So Vegeta,...you wet yourself in front of the whole class,eh?" Goku fell about in laughter, this kicked off Krillen and Gohan, who then started laughing their heads off.  
  
Vegeta turned blood red and then exploded with - "STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TRAUMA THAT PUT ME THROUGH!" he then started crying. (It must of been a pitiful sight!) The laughter stopped and the Z Team looked over at Vegeta, his hands over his face. Gohan walked over to Vegeta and put his arm around him. And then Gohan said-  
  
"Its alright Vegeta, we won't laugh at you ever again!". He then mouthed to his Dad and friend- 'No we won't.'  
  
Vegeta quickly got back to his normal posture and said "Alright then, but that doesn't mean I'm 'friends' with any of you weaklings!" They all nodded, but smirked at eachother behind Vegeta's back.  
  
"Ok men!" shouted Vegeta at the Z Team who were in one line, wearing army suits with various weapons on them. "Getting out of this purchasing place..."  
  
"You mean a clothes shop!" pointed out Krillen.  
  
"Be quiet when I'm talking to you soldier!" roared Vegeta, spraying spit all over Krillen's bald head.  
  
"Yes boss!"  
  
"Thata better! Now, we've got several back ups if someone takes us as hostages. First, we've got Gohan, his intelect might come in handy to get us out of a sticky spot!"  
  
Gohan looked around smugly.  
  
"Then theres Kakarott, his stupidity can confuse anyone!"  
  
"Thats my Dad! As dumb as a mule!" said Gohan, looking up at Goku in slight admiration.  
  
"Thanks son, Daddy will try his best to succeed!"  
  
Vegeta paused, rolled his eyes, and then carried on.  
  
"And theres Krillen. the shine off his head is blinding and he can distract the women by insulting them."  
  
"Hey! Are you saying I can't have a perfectly polite conversation with a woman?" said Krillen indignantly.  
  
"Well,...yes!"  
  
" Fine, I'll show you!" Krillen spotted a woman shop keeper and approached her with a smile. After a few seconds, a huge slap hit Krillen's cheek and he crawled back and mumbled- "Point taken!"  
  
"Ok, and theres me!" said Vegeta.  
  
"Oh please! What are you gonna do?" asked Gohan, amazed by his own courage.  
  
"Please! Who can resist this face?" he said, grinning broadly in a mirror near him.  
  
After a few minutes of modelling by Vegeta, he straightened himself up and continued -" AND if all that fails, we've got our purses and handbags!" holding his own up. He quickly stuffed it back in his pocket. "Now,...MARCH!" And they all disappeared around a rack of skirts.  
  
A few minutes later....  
  
"Oh, I'm so tired! And hungry! If I don't eat something soon, I might have to eat someone in here!" cried Goku.  
  
The gang looked at eachother nervously. "How long have we been walking anyway?"  
  
"Well, lets see, if we calculate this, mmmm, then subtract the 6, we've been walking,...for......3 minutes. " said Krillen, his eyes screwed up in concentration.  
  
"That long huh? Well, I suggest we eat Gohan first! Seeing as hes the youngest!" Goku said. "I'm really sorry!" He then whispered to his son. "Gohan is the chubbiest around here, and the most useless!" Goku looked at his son and whispered - "I really am sorry!" Gohan backed a way from his Dad and towards Vegeta.  
  
"Erm,...right! Actually, I think we should conce...what the hell are those garments!?" Vegeta yelled, running over to a rack of multicoloured things. The rest of the Z Team stared, confused. Vegeta grabbed some things off the racks and pranced into the changing rooms. The gang followed like obedient dogs.  
  
"Err,...Vegeta? What are you doing/" asked Goku, as he heard rustling in Vegeta's compartment.  
  
"Don't be so impatient!" He called back.  
  
After a few minutes of tutting and shuffling of feet, Vegeta emom the cubicle. The Z Team stared in astonishment. A long purple dress, hung off Vegeta's shoulders, with matching purple high heels and make-up blobbed over his face. Also, his hair was gelled back so it looked long. He ALMOST looked like a...woman.  
  
"Vegeta....." The whole Z Team looked too stunned to laugh.  
  
|"Look, I had this idea when I saw this dress, that if we | |dress up like women, we'd be able to get past our enemies| |and get out safely!" explained Vegeta, walking up and | |down the aisle, admiring himself in the mirror. Krillen | |looked at Vegeta for a few seconds and then- | |"NO way! I don't play that game! I like my head shiny and| |my legs to be covered with pants!" | |"Come on Krillen! These things are pretty comfy!" said | |Goku, who was strutting around the place in a corset and | |underpants. | |"Kakarott! Put some slacks on!" shouted Vegeta, sheilding| |his eyes. | |"You mean,....put a dress on?" said Krillen, in a | |superior sort of way. | |"Shut your puny mouth, and get changed!" said Vegeta, | |flinging some sling-backs at him. | |"Oh man!" | | | |A few minutes and a couple of complaints later... | | | |"Come on Kakarott! It doesn't take that long to put | |make-up on!" Vegeta shouted down Goku's ear. | |"Oh Vegeta! You have to get the proportions just right! | |Is this lipstick alright?" asked Goku, who was lining his| |lips. | |"Lets just get this over with!" said Krillen, stepping | |out from behind a curtain. Krillen was wearing a scarlet | |dress with sling-back shoes and a handbag to match. | |"This is so uncomftable!" said Krillen, pulling his dress| |down, and adjusting his blonde wig. | |"Well, I think mines comftable and stylish! And I think | |mines great! Heh! Heh! Heh! See how easy it is to move?" | |claimed Gohan, cat-walking down the aisle, flexing his | |muscles at the same time. | |"That a boy, son!" said Goku, standing up, showing he was| |finally done. | |Goku was wearing a long orange dress with a slit up the | |back. He had matching shoes, handbag and make-up; and to | |top it all off, an orange lilly in his hair. | |"Something tells me you've done this before!" muttered | |Vegeta. | |"Whats the matter Vegeta? Jealous?" asked Gohan, in his | |sparkly blue dress with matching hair clips, high heels | |and make-up. | |"No, no, its just.... wait a minute! Hear that? Its | |Bulma! I know the sound of those sandals anywhere!" | |Vegeta replied, panicking, he dashed into a cubicle and | |pulled the curtains shut. | |"Err,...Vegeta,...what are you hiding for?" asked Goku, | |who could then hear his wife's voice in the distance. | |"You fool! You want your wife to see you dressed up like | |that? The humiliation!" He then grabbed hold of Goku, | |Gohan and Krillen, and pulled them into the cubicle | |faster than a leopard being chased by a great white | |shark. | | | |"Vegeta, what are we doing in here? Its only Chi-chi and | |Bulma!" said Goku. | |"Shut up you black haired idiot!" replied Vegeta, peeping| |through a crack in the curtains. | |"HAVE YOU LOOKED IN A MIRROR LATELY KAKAROTT?!" yelled | |Vegeta. | |Goku peered into a mirror in the cubicle and suddenly | |emitted a high pitched scream. | |"I look gorgeous!" he said, modelling in the mirror. | |"Sssh! They're coming!" Krillen whispered. | |The whole gang fell silent as the two women entered the | |dressing room. | |"Vegeta is such a stubborn mule!" Bulma said to Chi-chi. | |"He won't even carry my purse for me! I found it on the | |floor next to the bermuda shorts! Sometimes, I wish I | |could get my hands around his neck and...well, you get | |the picture!" | | | |"Excuse me, but are you talking about Prince Vegeta?" | |asked Vegeta, stepping out from behind the curtains, and | |putting on a woman voice. | |Bulma and Chi-chi turned around to see who it was as | |Vegeta walked up to them as womanly as possible as he | |could. | |"Whos asking?" said Chi-chi, eyeing the stubble on | |Vegeta's chin. | |"Well, I'm Veg...Vegaria! And I think Vegeta is the | |greatest person to have ever walked this earth!" replied | |Vegeta in the same woman voice. | |"Well, you don't live with him! You know, he actually | |kisses the mirror when hes looking at himself, AND wears | |flowery underpants!" | |Vegeta's hair popped up out of it's gel with a 'boing', | |"THATS NOT TRUE!" | |"Oh really, I've got photos as proof1" said Bulma, | |smirking. | |The rest of the Z Team could be heard chuckling. Vegeta | |put his hair back in place as Bulma emerged from a | |cubicle in a silk dress. | |"You look hot!" said Vegeta, eyeing Bulma up and down. | |Bulma and Chi-chi twirled round at Vegeta looking | |disgusted. | |"Err,...what I meant to say was...,.....err...." | |stuttered Vegeta, trying extra hard to put a woman voice | |on. Sweat marks could be seen on Vegeta's dress. | |"Err,....CHEESE IT!!" Vegeta yelled. In a flash, the Z | |Team stumbled out of the cubicle and ran off, Vegeta far | |ahead of them. | | | |" Phew, that was a close one!" said Vegeta, rubbing off | |his make-up. After several minutes, the Z Team had | |stripped themselves of the female clothes and were in | |their own again. As Goku mourned because he couldn't take| |the clothes home, Gohan spotted a hude 'EXIT' sign a few | |steps ahead of them. | |"Hey look guys! Theres the exit!" Gohan shouted, jumping | |up and down. The Z Team all stopped, not believeing what | |was in front of them. | |The Z Team all headed for the exit in a big cluste, when | |suddenly, Goku yelled out- "ARGH! It got me!" They all | |turned round, to find Goku stuck to a tag which belonged | |to a bra. | |"Oh forget him!" said Vegeta. "Its not like hes important| |anyway!" | |"Hey! Thats my Dad you're talking about!" Gohan yelled. | |"Now Gohan, Gohan, Gohan, Gohan. Its not like hes a great| |Father, why heck! I could be a better Father than him!" | |said Krillen, putting his arm aroung Gohan. | |Gohan looked at his Dad, crouched on the floor, | |whimpering like a baby, and then to Krillen. | |"True, but if Mum found out, she'd kill me!" | |Krillen realised it too. "You're right, we'd better help | |him!" said Krillen, kneeling down to Goku. | | | |A few minutes and a couple of explosions later..... | | | |"Its no use, we've tried dynamite, ki-blasts, we've even | |tried out teeth!" said Vegeta, looking down at Goku with | |no sympathy what so ever. | |Suddenly, Chi-chi's voice could be heard in the distance.| | | |"Uh-oh" said Krillen under his breath. | |"Goku!?" said Chi-chi. | |"Chi-chi! Goku need help!" said Goku, lifting his arms | |towards Chi-chi. Chi-chi's face softened and she bent | |down to Goku. Chi-chi lifted the tag from Goku's shirt. | |The Z Team looked at Chi-chi in astonishment. | |"Thats the third time you've done that this week!" said | |Chi-chi, scolding Goku. | |"Me sorry" said Goklu, putting his head down. | |"Its ok, hey, whos up for ice-cream?" | |"YAY!" said everyone. | |"Vegetas payin'!" said Bulma. | |"YAY!" said everyone except for Vegeta who said "BOO!" | | | |All the Z Team walked off into the sunset and lived | |happily ever after. Until Goku severly injured himself | |and had to be taken to the hospital while demonstrating | |the Kamehameha Attack. | | | |                                                THE | |END!:) | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |  
  
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